back to the ole grind?

New semester, new beginnings? Not so much for me. The only "new beginnings'' I have are harder classes. Just my first day, I get to look forward to at least two 6 page papers, multiple other small (2-4pgs) essays and a ton of quizzes. Oh joy for me. I can only dread what's in store for me tomorrow morning in English 100 and Communications 100. Fantastic. I have come to the conclusion that this whole "college expirience'' thing was not what I was looking forward to. I was imagining walking on to a campus with green lawns in the summer and snowy settings in the winter. I planned to walk into big historic brick buildings and 6 hour labs in high tech kitchens. I was going to meet other young adults who share my passion and work with famous chefs from around the globe. But where did I end up? In Northern, Northern California where it rains all year long and surrounded by many unmotivated hippies. I thought I would be fine with this unbalanced comprimise, but guess what world, I'm not. Scientist need to grow some balls and invent a time machine for me so I can undo this ity-bity life changing mistake. Sorry about the rant but this is the subjuct that sadly comsumes my soul at the moment, so my blogs will probably be all about this until I can get over it. My best comaprison is this: imagine you have the best boy/girlfriend in the whole freaking world...he/she proposes and you want to say yes but your lips are sealed...then your father says no...your left crushed settling for your somewhat descent neighbor, who you know can't get you what or where you want...that feeling of regret and sadness will stick with you until you accept it...all you think about is "why didn't I follow my heart and go for it anyways?''...thats how i feel. NOW.